Couples Therapy

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Gotham Psychotherapy integrates the Gottman Method, a research-based approach to couples therapy developed by Dr. John Gottman over four decades of studying thousands of couples.

The Gottman Method is built on the Sound Relationship House, which outlines nine essential components of healthy relationships. By combining scientific research with clinical practice, this method provides couples with practical tools to break through barriers, deepen understanding, and strengthen connection and intimacy.

Dr. John Gottman has been recognized with awards from the National Institute of Mental Health and the National Council on Family Relations. His research has been featured in leading publications and media outlets including The Atlantic, BBC, Time, The New York Times, The Huffington Post, CNN, The Today Show, The Washington Post, Psychology Today, Harvard Business Review, Scientific American, and the American Psychological Association.

The Sound Relationship House

Drs. John and Julie Gottman identified nine key elements that create strong, lasting relationships, known as the Sound Relationship House:

  1. Build Love Maps – Deeply know your partner’s inner world, including their hopes, fears, and stresses.

  2. Share Fondness and Admiration – Strengthen respect and appreciation to protect against contempt.

  3. Turn Towards Instead of Away – Notice and respond to small bids for connection in everyday life.

  4. Maintain a Positive Perspective – Approach conflict with optimism and openness to repair.

  5. Manage Conflict – Recognize the difference between solvable problems and ongoing challenges, and handle them constructively.

  6. Make Life Dreams Come True – Support each other’s hopes, goals, and aspirations.

  7. Create Shared Meaning – Build a sense of purpose through shared values, rituals, and traditions.

  8. Trust – Know that your partner acts in your best interest and “has your back.”

  9. Commitment – View the relationship as a lifelong journey, nurturing gratitude and positive regard even through challenges.

In his New York Times bestselling book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottmanexplains that 69% of marital conflicts are perpetual—recurring issues that couples must learn to manage rather than resolve. Much of the Gottman Method focuses on helping partners handle these ongoing challenges in healthier ways.

The Gottman Method is designed to support couples across all economic, racial, cultural, and sexual orientation backgrounds. Research has shown it to be effective for both heterosexual and same-sex relationships.

Common relationship challenges addressed in therapy include:

  • Frequent conflict – Learning to manage recurring disagreements

  • Poor communication – Strengthening clarity, listening, and understanding

  • Emotional distance – Rebuilding closeness and connection

  • Specific challenges – Addressing concerns such as infidelity, sexual difficulties, financial stress, and parenting struggles

  • General relationship growth – Helping couples with “normal” conflict develop resilience and healthier ways of coping

Even couples not in crisis can benefit from Gottman Method Couples Therapy by building stronger bonds and preparing for future challenges together.

Is Dr. Gottman really able to predict divorce with 94% accuracy?
Yes. Dr. John Gottman conducted seven long-term studies on divorce prediction. Across these studies, he achieved over 90% accuracy. The often-quoted 94% figure comes from his 1992 study, where accuracy reached 93.6%.

What makes Dr. Gottman an expert on marriage and divorce?
For more than 40 years, Dr. John Gottman, professor emeritus at the University of Washington, has studied thousands of couples. Along with his wife, Dr. Julie Gottman, he has also worked directly with approximately 8,000 couples in therapy and workshops.

What are the two most important findings from his research?
Happily married couples:

  • Treat each other like good friends and handle conflict in gentle, positive ways

  • Repair arguments quickly and process negative emotions effectively

What is the purpose of all this research?
The research identifies consistent patterns in how couples interact, helping therapists teach partners healthier ways to connect, repair, and grow together.

If we were told our relationship has a high risk of divorce, does that mean there is no hope?
No. The most important discovery from Dr. Gottman’s work is identifying which behaviors predict divorce. Couples can learn new strategies to replace these behaviors, strengthen their connection, and protect their relationship.

Are there gender differences in conflict responses?
Yes. Studies show that men often experience stronger stress during conflict, making them more likely to withdraw.

What negative behaviors predict divorce?
The “Four Horsemen” are destructive behaviors that increase divorce risk if left unaddressed:

  • Criticism

  • Contempt

  • Defensiveness

  • Stonewalling